What Counts as Cheating? Women Answer

Have you ever cheated on a girl?

If your first impulse is an excuse (“We never said we’re exclusive!??? or “She was out of the country!???) then listen up: Women hold the reigns in determining what counts as cheating. After all, we’re the ones who decide whether to forgive you once you’ve crossed the line.

To help you guys out, we asked the Men’s Life Today Girl Panel™ to draw that line. Sadly, it appears to be a moving one, depending on who you ask. There are a few shared beliefs, though. For example, swapping spit with another woman is definitely cheating. And a lot of behaviour, while not technically cheating, are still grounds for saying ta-ta. Where the girls seem to be all over the map, we advise the following: Assume yours is on the conservative side. That way, you can’t screw up.

The Panel:

Define cheating in 50 words or less:

“If you’re with another girl and doing something you wouldn’t do in front of me (beyond a little harmless flirting), then it’s probably cheating. Another good test? Ask yourself, ‘Would I mind if she was doing this with another guy?’??? –Michelle

“Doing something with another girl that you’d normally only do with your girlfriend!??? — Sakshi

“Being intimate — emotionally or physically — with someone else.??? –Arielle 

“You have to have the boyfriend/girlfriend title. I don’t care if you’ve been dating consistently for a year straight. You can’t be annoyed at the guy for dating someone else when you ‘give it away’ without a title!??? –Jaye

Does checking out another girl count as cheating?

“Not really – but it’s to not make your girlfriend happy. It’s definitely not going to go well with me??? — Sakshi

How about flirting with another girl without mentioning you have a girlfriend?

“If it’s kept to a one-off flirtation — no numbers exchanged, no touching — then I don’t see the harm.??? –Michelle

“It’s not cheating, but if it’s conscious and it’s in an effort to get the other person attracted to you, then it’s very shady.???  — Christina 

Kissing another girl?

“Kissing a girl on the cheek to say hello or goodbye is fine, but ANY other kind of kissing is definitely cheating and definitely not okay!??? –Jaye

Talking to your ex-girlfriend without informing your current girlfriend?

“If you just want to remain friendly with your ex-girlfriend, that’s fine. But if you’re still interested in her, or if she still wants you, that is unacceptable.??? — Angela

“It’s not cheating — it’s just uncalled for. And if you’re doing that… who knows what else you’re doing that is cheating???? –Jaye

Dancing with another girl?

“As long as you’re not grinding up against the girl, it’s fine.??? –Jaye

“If you dance with another girl in front of me, that’s not ok.??? —Angela

Watching or looking at porn?

“Definitely not. Boys will be boys!??? –Michelle

“It’s not technically cheating, but if it becomes excessive and interferes with daily life, then it’s a problem and grounds for breaking up.??? — Christina

What counts as “emotional cheating????

“Thinking about another girl in a certain way, maybe talking to her or sharing personal things with her. In some ways, it’s worse than regular cheating.??? — Sakshi

“When a guy forms a relationship with another girl. Even if it starts off as a friendship, if he begins to favour that person and spend increasing amounts of time with her, it can be worse than physical cheating, because that could be purely sexual.??? –Angela

“Talking via phone, text, IM, email etc. without the knowledge of your partner, especially when confiding personal secrets and problems to the other person, is emotional cheating.??? — Christina

If your boyfriend cheated on you, would you want to know about it?

“Yes! Why would I want him to get away with that?! And I would want to tell his friends and his family — yes, his — and embarrass him.??? –Jaye

“I would need to know, and then I would most likely break up with him.??? –Arielle 

“I would rather find out from him than from someone else, or not find out at all.??? — Christina

Could you forgive your partner for cheating?

“I don’t know. It would be nearly impossible to get over.??? –Arielle 

“No. I would never be able to trust him again. I can’t be with someone I don’t trust.??? –Angela

“Probably not. But maybe if we had been together a long time, and the cheating incident happened for some reason… it would depend???. —Sakshi

“I’d definitely be more likely to forgive him if we were together for a long time (3+ years) or if we were married.??? –Michelle

“Nothing is forgivable when it comes to cheating. Full stop. Once a cheater, always a cheater.??? –Jaye

If you could forgive your partner, how could he make it up to you?

“Time…flowers…more time…undying attention…and a lot more time.??? –Michelle

Photo: @iStockphoto.com/diego_cervo

Elizabeth Narins is the group editor of Men’s Life Today and Style and Tech for Men at Studio One Networks. The former YourTango.com Love Buzz blogger has never cheated. Follow her @Ejnarins.